This is an important document
about the upcoming season.
Please take the time to read it
carefully. Thank you.
Pleasanton Girls Softball League (PGSL)
and Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA) at
Stanford University are working together
to promote positive coaching in youth
sports.
This season we will be incorporating
the principles of a new model for
coaching that PCA has developed called
the "Positive Coach". The Positive
Coach stands in contrast to the
Win-At-All-Cost coach. A
win-at-all-cost coach has only one goal:
to win.
A Positive Coach wants to win, but
has a second goal: to help players use
the sports experience to learn "life
lessons" that will help them be
successful in every aspect of their
lives. Thats why PCA calls a Positive
Coach a "Double-Goal Coach".
We will promote three major Positive
Coaching themes this season. We'd like
your help in promoting these themes. PCA
will train our coaches to help them use
the themes effectively with their
athletes. However, it is also important
that parents understand and support the
themes so that our young athletes get a
consistent message from coaches and
parents.
We believe that these three themes,
if taken to heart by each of us, have
the power to "transform youth sports so
that sports can transform youth". The
three themes, which are explained in
detail on the following pages, are:
1) Redefining "Winner"
2) Filling the Emotional Tank
3) Honoring the Game
1) Redefining
"Winner"
In the professional sports
entertainment business, there is only
one goal - to have the most points at
the end of a contest. In youth sports,
however, there is a second goal -
to produce young people who will be
winners in life.
In order to help our children get the
most out of competitive sports, we need
to redefine what it means to be a
"winner". Regardless of what the
scoreboard says, here’s what winners do.
They:
Make maximum effort.
Continue to learn and improve.
Refuse to let mistakes (or fear
of making mistakes) stop them.
This is referred to as a Mastery
Orientation. PCA has developed a memory
aid for athletes called the "Tree of
Mastery." We say that the Tree of
Mastery is an ELM Tree where ELM stands
for Effort, Learning, and
Mistakes.
If our athletes approach this season
with these things in mind, not only will
they be successful in practices and
games, but they'll also develop habits
that will serve them well throughout
their lives.
There is an added benefit. Athletes
who are coached with a Mastery
Orientation tend to have reduced anxiety
and increased self-confidence. And when
athletes feel less anxiety, they are
more likely to have fun playing their
sport!
Here’s how you can help:
1) Tell your children that you want
them to be winners in life and remind
them of the three things that winners do
(remember ELM).
2) Let your children know you
appreciate it when they and their
teammates try hard even if they lose the
contest.
3) Challenge yourself not to ask,
"Did you win?" until after you've asked
several, more important questions.
Reveal what matters most to you through
the questions you ask: "Did you try as
hard as you could?", "Are you getting
better?", "When you made a mistake did
you bounce back?" You could also ask
them if they had fun!
4) Recognize that commitment to
Mastery is hard work. Be patient and
selective when criticizing your child's
play, choosing times when they're most
receptive. Also, point out situations
in which you noticed them trying hard.
Tell them when you notice that they are
improving regardless of the outcome of a
particular play or contest.
2) Filling the
"Emotional Tank"
Research shows that the home team
wins about 60% of the time. This is
because of the emotional support a team
receives when it plays in front of its
own fans. We want to develop a
portable home team advantage that
our team can take with us wherever we
go. The key to this has to do with
something called the "Emotional Tank."
Like gas tanks in cars, all of us
have an Emotional Tank that fills and
drains. An athlete with a low emotional
tank is irritable, pessimistic, and
unable to deal well with adversity. On
the other hand, an athlete whose tank is
filled is cheerful, optimistic, and
better able to deal with adversity. The
bottom line is that players with empty
tanks are less coachable, while those
with full tanks are more coachable. We
want to will fill our players’ tanks so
that they'll be able to play their best.
As coaches and parents, there will be
times when we need to correct and
criticize. Research has shown that a
"Plus / Minus Ratio" (praise to
criticism) of 5:1 or better is ideal for
children’s learning. When the ratio of
praise to criticism drops much below
5:1, children become discouraged (their
tanks become drained!). We would like
to achieve this "Golden Ratio".
We want to foster an environment
where coaches, players, parents and fans
fill each other's tanks.
Here’s how you can help:
1) Fill your child’s Emotional Tank.
Encourage them regardless of what
happens in the game. Try not to give
them a lot of advice (which after a
tough game can seem like criticism,
which drains a person’s tank).
Remember, it’s difficult to do well
with a low tank. When they make a
mistake, you might say something like
"Don’t worry. It’s okay. Let’s get the
next one. You can do it." After tough
losses, it's often helpful to
acknowledge your child's feeling of
disappointment. For example, saying "I
can imagine you must be disappointed to
have lost," might help them recognize
your sincerity.
2) To give advice your child can
hear, try using the
"3-Pluses-and-a-Wish" technique. Before
you give advice, find three things about
your child’s performance that you
appreciated. Phrase the advice as a
wish: "You really tried hard in the game
today (Plus #1). I also saw you filling
your teammate’s emotional tank after he
made a mistake (Plus #2). And that play
you made towards the end of the game
shows how much you are improving (Plus
#3). One thing I wish is that you
wouldn’t get down on yourself when you
make a mistake." If you can’t come up
with three pluses, don’t say the wish
because then it may drain your child’s
emotional tank rather than fill it.
3) Remember the Golden Ratio. Try
to praise your child about 5 times for
every time you criticize. If you do,
your child will be better able to hear
your criticism without becoming
defensive.
3)" Honoring the
Game"
Sportsmanship may seem like an
out-of-date concept today when
professional athletes and coaches act in
ways we would not want our children to
imitate. We intend to reverse this
trend in our league with the concept of
"Honoring the Game".
Honoring the Game gets to the
ROOTT of the matter, where
ROOTT means respect for:
Rules
Opponents
Officials
Teammates
Tradition
Rules: Respect for the rules
is important, even when it’s possible to
break them without getting caught. We
want our teams to play to the letter and
spirit of the rules, and to refrain from
"bending" them when it dishonors the
game.
Opponents: Without opponents,
competitive sports make no sense. A
worthy opponent challenges us to do our
best. We must respect opponents and
remember they are members of our
community. We will try our hardest to
win but not at the expense of demeaning
or demonizing our opponents. We want
our players to show respect for opposing
coaches and teams.
Officials: Officials have
been selected and trained to enforce
rules to keep sports from degenerating
into chaos. Officials are not perfect
(just like coaches, athletes and
parents!) and sometimes make mistakes.
However, there is no excuse for treating
officials with disrespect when they make
errors. We want our players and their
parents to show respect for officials,
even when they disagree with the call.
Teammates: Our players should
feel a commitment to each other as
teammates. We ask them to encourage and
support one another on and off
the playing field.
Tradition: The game our
children play has a great tradition. We
want to share that tradition with our
athletes. It is important to us that
our players recognize how privileged we
are to be able to participate in
organized sports.
Here’s how you can help:
1) Let your child know that you want
her to honor the game. Discuss the
meaning of each element of ROOTT with
your child. This idea may be difficult
for younger children to understand so
you may have to adapt the idea to the
age and comprehension level of your
child.
2) Be a good role model. Honor the
Game when you attend your child's
games. Cheer your team and the opposing
team when good plays are made. If, in
your opinion, an officiating mistake is
made, refrain from yelling at the
official. Use this as an opportunity to
think about how difficult it is to
officiate a game perfectly.
For more information
about Positive Coaching Alliance, you
can visit the PCA website at
www.positivecoach.org, call
650-725-0024, send e-mail to
pca@positivecoach.org, or write
Positive Coaching Alliance, Department
of Athletics, Stanford University,
Stanford, CA 94305-6150.
